Angela = Angela Chase
Rayanne = Rayanne Graff
Sharon = Sharon Cherski
Patty = Patty Chase
Rickie = Rickie Vasquez
Graham = Graham Chase
Danielle= Danielle Chase
Brian = Brian Krakow
Jordan = Jordan Catalano
Hallie = Hallie Lowenthal
Katimsky= Richard Katimsky, English teacher
Renee = Renee Lerner, Geometry teacher
Mary Ann= Mary Ann Chataval, Biology teacher
Chuck = Chuck Wood, Patty's father
Shane = Shane, Jordan's friend
Aby = Abyssinia
Troy = Abyssinia's boyfriend (?)

Angela
All over school, there are these certain places -- that are like reserved for certain people.
Sharon
My biggest regret is -- breaking up with Kyle -- like, before midterms!
Angela
You're not supposed to cross certain lines --
Troy
Sin! Hey, Abyssinia!
Angela
It's this unwritten law -- like gravity or something. Like in the basement near the north exit, there's this -- boiler room. where certain people will like go for like one reason. I'd never been there -- ever -- in my life. [Angela and Jordan kiss] I'm missing my geometry review. I'm glad it's optional.
Katimsky
So you had to take over two English classes even though you're a math teacher? Gee, whiz.
Renee
Uh, well, it was just temporary until, you know, they could find someone. Oh, it was terrifying. I was never any good at -- English. Anyway, I'm glad that they finally -- hired you. I mean -- Angela Chase! Why weren't you in geometry review?
Angela
Oh, I thought it --
Renee
Angela, you need this. How are you going to pass your midterms?
Angela
Um, y-yeah -- I thought it was optional, but [Jordan passes her in the hallway] -- I'll definitely -- oh, oh yeah, you know -- [She disappears around a corner, following Jordan]
Renee
It just breaks my heart, some of these girls. I mean they are just so smart, and yet --
Mary Ann
It's called low self-esteem.
Renee
Oh.
Mary Ann
Good morning.
Renee
Hi.
Mary Ann
Hi, I'm Mary Ann Chataval.
Katimsky
Oh, hi.
Renee
Oh, I'm sorry. This is Richard Katimsky. Uh, Richard is taking over the English classes they stuck me with. Oh, by the way, if you have any questions about -- about anything -- I mean [bell rings]
Katimsky
Ah, oh, well. To be continued.
Renee
Oh, yes. By the way, if you need anything, don't hesitate to --
Katimsky
Oh, really, thank you -- thanks.
Mary Ann
Renee, he's adorable!
Renee
Sh! Sh!
Mary Ann
But he is.
Renee
I know.
Katimsky
Since this our first class together, I thought that I would start with one of my favorite sonnets by -- William Shakespeare. So -- who would like to read this aloud? Oh, gee whiz, it's going to take me a while to learn all these names. Where is -- Enrique Vasquez?
Guy
Oooh, Enrique!
Rickie
Si, mi nombre es Enrique, and I want to leeve een Amereeca.
Rickie
I'm transferring out.
Rayanne
No, don't. Then we won't be in the same English class.
Rickie
So, you never even go to English.
Rayanne
Well, in case I ever do. Anyway, isn't Enrique like legally your name?
Rickie
I don't care! And he acts like he's this really nice guy, when obviously he's not. And he takes these unbelievably long pauses, like -- okay, this is him. [starts doing an imitation of Katimsky] My name is -- Mr. -- ah -- Katimsky and here's a sonnet by William -- ah, Shakespeare who is almost as boring as I, Mr. -- ah [notices Katimsky watching him]. Oh, no.
Rayanne
See ya [bolts]
Katimsky
Enrique -- may I -- s-speak to you for a moment?
Rickie
He actually asked me if I would consider joining drama club. He must have like no life.
Rayanne
So? Neither do you.
Rickie
I mean, drama club is something I could almost picture doing, if I was like really bored, or something. But with him running it? Pass-ola. Where did you get Chinese food?
Rayanne
Two words -- Tino.
Rickie
So -- guess where Angela is.
Rayanne
I know where she is.
Rickie
You know? How do you know?
Rayanne
Because -- I live in the world.
Rickie
It's so romantic. They're like this couple now.
Rayanne
We'll see.
Patty
Honey? I'm home. [Graham and Danielle ignore her. Patty sighs] Please -- don't get up.
Graham
Hi.
Patty
I -- where's Angela?
Graham
Reform school.
Patty
Good. Maybe she'll learn how to make her bed.
Graham
I'm just reviewing some terms for the class tomorrow, so I can follow what -- um, a lot of the sauces are French.
Patty
Graham, you'll be fine. It isn't even an advanced course -- it's intermediate.
Graham
Yeah, but what's intermediate? I mean, what if I'm not intermediate? What if I'm not intermediate enough?
Danielle
What is medi-ocre?
Graham
Look it up.
Angela
Hi. [She hugs and kisses Patty]
Patty
Well, hi.
Angela
Hello. [She kisses and hugs Graham]
Graham
Hello.
Patty
So what have you been up to?
Angela
Oh, studying for midterms.
Graham
You hungry?
Angela
Nope. [She leaves]
Patty
Okay, now -- I refuse to panic just because she's happy.
Graham
Although it is alarming.
Patty
Oh, it's terribly alarming.
Angela
Every night I make the same vow, that tomorrow I will go to geometry review. But every day --
Angela
We barely talked, and when we did, it came out sounding really meaningful. [to Jordan] There's a tiny leaf in your hair.
Jordan
Where?
Jordan
But is that your stomach or my stomach? [They both look down]
Angela
Your cuticles look like little moons.
Jordan
My what?
Angela
Your cuticles.
Shane
Catalano, you down here?
Jordan
Shh. The fact that we come here -- let's keep it like -- our secret.
Angela
Why?
Jordan
No reason.
Shane
Catalano -- what are you doing? [Jordan meets him at the top of the stairs] Who you got in there?
Jordan
Uh, just -- just a girl.
Shane
Yeah?
Jordan
Yeah. [The friend starts boxing with him] Get off!
Shane
So, nobody?
Jordan
Shut up.
Renee
Very good. Now, draw a circle, with two intersecting chords. Now when two chords intersect inside a circle, the product of the segments of one chord equals what?
Angela
My whole life became like divided. Into kissing. And -- not kissing. Kissing, and -- not kissing.
Renee
Once again, people, if you receive less than a seventy on this quiz, you should be attending my fifth period review sessions.
Angela
In geometry I felt like a criminal. I missed every review session, so I tried to be invisible. It's surprisingly possible -- you just sit in the back and keep quiet and let the boys shout out the answers, which they will, even if they're wrong. Boys are less afraid -- of being wrong.
Renee
[to Angela, who has received a 59] I'm not happy. [to Abyssinia, who has received a 98] Good job.
Guy
Miss Lerner, can I ask you a question?
Renee
Anyone with a question about their grade can speak to me tomorrow before class.
Troy
Hey, Sin, what's up?
Aby
Nothing.
Troy
Man, I can't believe I have to go to this review session. Why couldn't I just get four more points? Then I would have had a seventy. So, how 'bout you? How'd you do?
Aby
Sixty -- I guess I'll see you at review.
Renee
Abyssinia, keep it up.
Aby
She's just always trying to make me feel better, or something.
Troy
Well, maybe I can help you. I did get six more points than you.
Aby
That's true. [They leave]
Renee
Angela Chase. How do you expect to pass your midterm?
Angela
I'm really sorry, I --
Renee
Sorry won't cut it. I want to see you at tomorrow's review session? Clear?
Angela
Yes.
Rayanne
You should really consider having your lips frosted permanently.
Angela
They feel like they were.
Rayanne
I noticed. They look all like -- used. But in a good way.
Angela
Hey, Ray, don't tell anyone, okay?
Rayanne
That rhymed! Tell anyone what?
Angela
You know, that I'm meeting Jordan Catalano in the boiler room.
Rayanne
Why?
Angela
Because he doesn't want people to like -- know about us -- yet, or something.
Rayanne
Angela, you are letting Jordan Catalano -- like control you.
Angela
What? Who say's he's controlling me? -- I can't believe this. For like months you've been trying to convince me to do all these things I'd never dream of doing and now that I'm actually doing them, you're -- I mean, haven't you made out with guys in the boiler room like, hundreds of times?
Rayanne
So?
Angela
So, are they controlling you?
Rayanne
No, because I am not you. Because as I have stated a hundred times, I don't go getting my emotions involved. I am they type of person who can handle -- the boiler room. You -- are not.
Patty
Well, goodbye, daddy. Oh, tell mother thanks for the curtain rings.
Chuck
Whoa, you hear that? Mighty squeaky floorboard there. I'd look into that, if I were you.
Patty
[low] Well, you're not me.
Chuck
What's that you say?
Patty
Nothing. I'll look into it.
Chuck
You hear, it's right about there.
Patty
Uh-huh.
Chuck
Hear that?
Patty
Yeah, uh-huh.
Chuck
Where's Mr. Fix-it tonight?
Patty
He's taking a class.
Chuck
Class?
Patty
Mm-hm.
Chuck
For what?
Patty
Stocks, soups, and sauces -- it happens to be a very advanced class for very -- advanced cooks.
Chuck
Don't give me that advanced crap. He ought to be pulling his weight.
Patty
Dad, stop it. This is a big step for Graham -- he happens to be at a turning point in his life and I support him a hundred percent.
Chuck
Turning point. That's a hell of a notion. You listen to me for a minute. Stop throwing money away on some sauce class, and get one of those, what do you call them --
Patty
Marriage counsellors?
Chuck
No, no, uh, headhunter. That's what you need -- someone to get him a job so he can stop spongeing of his wife.
Patty
That's between me and Graham, okay, please? You don't know all the particulars.
Chuck
I'm your father. That's the particulars. And you deserve better.
Hallie
Well -- this utterly sucks. [pause] I hate waiting. My fiancee says I have the shortest attention span known to man. [she pulls out her huge purse and beings rummaging through it] Gum? Breath mint?
Graham
Uh, no.
Hallie
Well, we're off to a swell start, aren't we? The teacher being -- fourteen minutes late. Hey -- doesn't this remind you of one of those Twilight Zone episodes? You know -- they think they've signed on for an ordinary cooking class, little do they know they'll be forced to make awkward conversation with thirteen strangers for all eternity. No, wait, one of those human behavior experiments, to determine how long it takes till we turn into Lord of the Flies? Hm. [to the rest of the class] I say we give him five more minutes, then mutiny. Take over the stove. Are you with me? [blank stares] Um, maybe we should, um, all go around the room and say why we're here. Um. I'll start. Um. My fiancee hates my cooking. Now you know everything. Next?
Patty
Well? So -- how was the class?
Graham
Strange.
Patty
Well, um, what do you mean strange? You mean -- how was it?
Graham
[rummaging through the refrigerator] Do we have any more of that spicy mustard?
Patty
Did you feel like, um -- everyone was more experienced -- in the room, or something?
Graham
Why would you assume that?
Patty
No, I - I wasn't -- assuming anything. I was just asking. Graham -- you -- it's okay if you hated it. I mean, it-it would probably -- make more sense just to take the tuition money and use it to hire one of those headhunters, or something.
Graham
What? Where did that come from?
Patty
Well, if the class isn't working out --
Graham
Who said it wasn't working out?
Patty
Nobody.
Graham
He never showed. [Patty turns on the light] We were all just sitting there waiting, and finally this kind of -- ah, loud woman started complaining, which is what broke the ice. She had one of those flip phones in her purse -- she even had Stephan Dieter's assistant's number -- kind of obnoxious person who has everything. So she calls him -- turns out Stephan Dieter had been rushed to the emergency room with food poisoning. It was supposedly not from his food -- from these -- tainted shrimp at some book signing.
Patty
Oh, my God.
Graham
Then, this woman, the obnoxious one -- she, ah, got them to reschedule the class. For Friday.
Patty
How strange.
Shane
Catalano. In your own world much? So, are you going to Buffalo Tom Friday?
Jordan
Buffalo Tom?
Shane
Yeah. Tino found out that they're playing at Pike Street Friday night. Like unannounced.
Jordan
Yeah?
Shane
Yeah, play like a set.
Jordan
Sure, okay.
Shane
Yeah, so.
Jordan
So, Buffalo Tom.
Shane
Okay.
Jordan
Well, later.
Shane
Oh, okay. Well, later. [he leaves. Jordan goes down the steps to where Angela is waiting]
Angela
I have all this -- geometry.
Jordan
I was hoping you'd be here.
Angela
So, are you going to Buffalo Tom?
Jordan
What?
Angela
Buffalo Tom? Didn't I hear that they were playing at Pike Street? I mean, I think I heard that somewhere.
Jordan
Uh, yeah, I'm going. Why?
Angela
No reason.
Rayanne
Rat it, spray it, tease it, freeze it --
Sharon
Excuse me. Have you ever been to a class?
Rayanne
Excuse me. I was addressing myself.
Sharon
Okay -- so -- what's the deal with Angela and Jordan Catalano?
Rayanne
Here's a thought -- ask her.
Sharon
I can't. She'll think I'm checking up on her. So, are -- are they like a couple?
Rayanne
From the point of view of what I believe, or from what she believes?
Sharon
From the point of view of reality.
Rayanne
What do you think?
Sharon
I'd have to say -- I think she could really get hurt here.
Rayanne
Tell me something I don't know.
Sharon
[as Angela enters the bathroom] I know, that's the whole problem.
Angela
[to Sharon] Don't you have French this period?
Sharon
Uh, you should talk. How come you're never at geometry review?
Rayanne
Angelika --
Sharon
Angela, we're like concerned, okay?
Angela
Because I cut a few geometry reviews? What, you two like discuss me now?
Sharon
We don't discuss anything. We're barely -- even friends.
Rayanne
[at the same time] -- even friends. Are we friends?
Sharon
No.
Angela
Well, I'm not discussing Jordan Catalano.
Sharon
Why not? Why is he keeping you two a secret?
Angela
How do you know he's keeping us a secret?
Sharon
Rayanne told me.
Rayanne
Look, the only reason we talk like this is because we care about you. When I was drinking and drugging, you wanted me to stop -- as my friend.
Angela
Wait, you're comparing me making out with Jordan Catalano to you -- getting your stomach pumped?
Rayanne
You don't see the connection?
Sharon
The connection is self-respect.
Rayanne
Thank you! [they high-five]
Sharon
Angela, God, you know, the point is --
Rayanne
What -- who is he? Who is he to treat you like this?
Sharon
Yeah, what, like you're not cool enough for him to like be seen with you?
Rayanne
Exactly, and she's not slutty enough for him to just do with her ragged to his butt.
Sharon
I mean, please, you like deserve like so much better.
Angela
Just because he's not Kyle and he doesn't parade with me down the halls holding hands.
Rayanne
What is holding hands? I don't get it. What are hands? It's not even an erro-geenous zone.
Sharon
Erogenous. And it is to me.
Angela
You're both wrong. And if he doesn't want to be see with me, then why did he ask me to meet him Friday night at Pike Street? To hear Buffalo Tom? Not that I can even go, I mean, I have too much geometry --
Sharon
Maybe I'll go. I like Buffalo Tom. [they stare at her] What? I do. You know, I am sick of being perfect. I broke up with Kyle. I have a total right to screw up my midterms.
Rayanne
More like an obligation. [to Angela as she leaves] I have to talk with you.
Renee
Hi.
Katimsky
Oh, hi --
Renee
It's Renee.
Katimsky
Oh, Renee, of course. There's so many new names in one -- week.
Renee
I just thought I'd say hi.
Katimsky
Well, go-ah, good.
Renee
I mean, we never really got to finish our conversation, so -- Well, not that we necessarily had to finish it, I just thought -- what a week, huh? I'll be so glad when midterms are over. So many of my kids are just -- sliding downhill. It's so discouraging. I mean, you, you try to reach out, I mean really try, but when they don't take the next step, it's just so frustrating, you know?
Katimsky
Would you excuse me? For-for a moment? [he runs into the hall] Hey, Enrique! [Rayanne and Rickie stop] Where are you two supposed to be?
Rayanne
See, what happened was we were going to lunch, but first we had to stop by my locker --
Katimsky
Please, please, spare me the explanation. Just get to the cafeteria.
Rayanne
Totally.
Katimsky
Oh, oh, would you be interesting in joining the drama club?
Rayanne
Would it get me out of anything?
Katimsky
I doubt it. Okay, go to lunch. See you, Enrique.
Rickie
Uh, people don't call me Enrique, except like my grandmother, and she's dead.
Katimsky
Uh, okay. I'll try to -- oh, imagine having a name like Enrique and not using it. Gee whiz. I'm an Enrique, too. Sort of. Well, ahh, Richard. It's not quite the same thing.
Rickie
No. Uh, Richard would be Ricardo.
Katimsky
Oh, w-w - here's the sign-up sheet -- by the way, in case you want to sign up. Did I talk to you?
Rickie
Yes.
Katimsky
W-what did you say?
Rickie
That I'm not interested?
Katimsky
Oh, well. Maybe you'll change your mind.
Rickie
I'm positive I won't.
Katimsky
Well, if you do, here's the sign-up sheet. You don't have to answer right away -- you give it some thought. [he leaves]
Rickie
Do you see what I'm saying?
Rayanne
I was kidding you. Can't you take a joke?
Mary Ann
Renee? What is it?
Renee
I just made the biggest fool out of myself.
Rickie
No, you don't understand. He says "Gee whiz", and he won't stop with this drama club stuff. He's driving me stark, raving mad!
Brian
Did I tell you what Angela Chase asked me?
Rickie
I cannot believe they let people like that teach.
Brian
She asked me if I could come over tonight and explain congruent triangles to her. So I said, "Do you know how long it's even been since I - I even had geometry?" Then she like hands me her geometry book, like I'm supposed to supposedly review it, or something.
Rickie
He didn't even see the difference between Enrique and Ricardo! Hah!
Brian
Who's Enrique and Ricardo? I mean, look at all this work I have to do. I mean, I could spend the entire weekend, like, like without meals -- even then, I probably couldn't get it all done.
Rickie
I mean, they're two completely different names.
Brian
I mean, I cannot believe what some people will ask other people to do.
Rickie
So, you're not going?
Brian
Well, I might stop by. Just to kind of take a study break.
Hallie
Go on, taste it.
Graham
Is it -- ?
Hallie
No, go on.
Graham
Oh.
Hallie
Don't take my word for it.
Graham
Just it -- needs something.
Hallie
Yeah, like -- a taste. Say, I can't believe you know all that stuff about -- potage. Where did you learn that -- France?
Graham
No, it's just things you pick up. You know, trial and error.
Hallie
Yeah? You're better than this class, that's for sure. Say -- what do we think of him?
Graham
Stephan Dieter?
Hallie
No, Rush Limbaugh.
Graham
Well, I think, uh --
Hallie
I mean, did you understand one word he was saying? Through the entire class?
Graham
Well, he is foreign.
Hallie
Also drunk. Which one do you think he's been longer?
Graham
Shh -- you really think so?
Hallie
Are you kidding me? Look at that shnoz -- it's a broken capillary festival. I'm telling you -- if he doesn't get it together I'm going to make such a stink.
Graham
Really.
Hallie
Would I kid you? I mean, seriously, we deserve better. I mean -- don't we?
Graham
Man -- Stephan Dieter guy --
Patty
What?
Graham
Really hard to follow.
Patty
What do you mean exactly?
Graham
These are nice. You actually made these?
Patty
Yes. Why do you sound so surprised? Well -- what do you mean hard to follow? In what way?
Graham
I mean in the sense that when he speaks, it's hard. To follow.
Patty
You mean for you to follow, or -- ?
Graham
What did I just say?
Patty
Well, no, I mean -- could nobody follow it, or -- ?
Graham
Well, why would only I have problems following it?
Patty
I don't know, I wasn't there.
Graham
Why do you do this?
Patty
Do what? I just asked is it possible there are people in the class who could follow what he was saying.
Graham
I'm going upstairs. And for your information, he's a lush. He's a drunken lout.
Rayanne
See, I told you! You just gotta put your thumb over the picture.
Sharon
They're even cuter than on their CD! I can't believe I'm here. I have like so much work to do.
Angela
He's not here.
Sharon
I mean, I have like three midterms next week.
Danielle
[to Brian] She went to hear Buffalo Tom.
Angela
We may as well just leave.
Rayanne
I can't believe you want to leave already, just because you don't -- there he is. [across the room, Jordan and Shane are playing pool]
Shane
There's Rayanne Graff and that weird girl she always hangs out with. [Jordan glances in their direction, continues playing]
Angela
He doesn't seem like he saw me. He's busy. I - I'm not even gonna --
Sharon
What? Forget busy. I mean, he asked you to meet him here, right?
Rayanne
I mean, why isn't he like coming to you?
Angela
Because -- he doesn't -- see me. He's like -- busy.
Rayanne
Will you just go over there? Please? Just go.
Sharon
I mean, really! Really. [Angela walks over to Jordan]
Angela
Hi.
Jordan
Hi. [starts to shoot] Uh, you're kinda crowding me. [Angela waits, then turns and leaves]
Sharon
Angela! Angela, wait! [she chases after Angela. Rayanne approaches Jordan and Shane]
Shane
Hey, Graff, wanna play?
Rayanne
Shut up. [to Jordan] You know you like her -- would it kill you to admit it, maybe treat her halfway decent? Because you know, she deserves it. And she's not gonna wait around for you forever. [she leaves]
Shane
Man, they're like weird. Both of them.
Angela
There's something about Sunday night that really makes you want to kill yourself, especially if you've been totally made a fool of, by the only person you'll ever love, and you have a geometry midterm on Monday, which you still haven't studied for, because you can't, because Brian Krakow has your textbook, and you're too embarrassed to even deal with it. And your little sister's completely finished with her homework, which is just -- like so simple and mindless a child could do it.
Danielle
Mom, Dad, I finished my report on crustaceans.
Angela
And that creepy 60 Minutes watch that sounds like your whole life ticking away.
Patty
Daddy's at his cooking class, honey. Ah. Oh. Look, Angela, did you see the wonderful report that Danielle did?
Angela
Mm-hm.
Graham
[noticing Hallie staring at him] Well, what can I say?
Hallie
Nothing. Uh. [to class] There is nothing to say. [to Graham] Listen, um, could I ask you a question?
Graham
Sure.
Hallie
It's about risotto.
Patty
Hey, don't you have your geometry midterm tomorrow?
Angela
Yeah.
Patty
Well, do you feel prepared?
Angela
Uh-huh -- I think I'm gonna call Brian Krakow. Maybe we can quiz each other, or something.
Patty
Angela, that's a really wonderful idea. Really. I'm so proud of you. I'm so grateful that you didn't inherit my math block. I was always so terrible at -- in math and it nearly affected my entire life and I was always afraid that I'd pass it down to you girls like a bad chromosome.
Angela
Well, you didn't.
Patty
Thank God.
Brian
I don't believe you.
Angela
I know.
Brian
You're in some kind of dream world, or something that revolves around you. You have like no concept of anybody else's life --
Angela
I know.
Brian
You couldn't even begin to imagine the pressure I'm under. You think you're under pressure? You? That is so like laughable.
Angela
Brian, you are completely right, okay, but could you just please explain geometry to me anyway?
Brian
You think I care? You could not possibly conceive of how much studying I have to do tonight! Have you ever even heard of calculus? Geometry is a paid vacation compared to calculus. Okay? I mean, do you like realize the pressure on a person when it's like assumed that they will always get As? Hey, Brian, pull another A? That Brian, he always gets an A. You have the option of insanity. I do not. And that -- makes me crazy! [Graham enters] Hi. I have to leave. I'm - I'm leaving.
Graham
Goodbye.
Patty
Did Brian Krakow leave already? Oh, you're home.
Angela
I have to study.
Patty
So?
Graham
Uh, Stephan Dieter won't be teaching for a while. He's in some -- rehab in Idaho getting deglazed.
Patty
Graham, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.
Graham
For what?
Patty
Come on, don't do this. Don't stay in the class just to spite me.
Graham
What?
Patty
Please, this was my idea, I -- forced you into it and obviously it's turned out to be a total -- and complete -- waste of time. So, um -- I was wrong, okay? I've learned -- my lesson, okay? Just -- quit the wretched class. I swear I'll never suggest taking another class as long as -- either of us live.
Graham
They want me to teach the class.
Patty
What? Are you kidding, or -- ?
Graham
We're all just sitting there, it's become nightmarishly clear that he's not going to show -- again, and I'm thinking, God, this has been the stupidest week of my life, and of course, this woman --
Patty
The loud obnoxious one?
Graham
She's going on and on about how she -- um, tried to make risotto for her fiancee and it turned out to be this big disaster, so I started telling her why, and pretty soon -- everyone's asking questions and like writing down why I'm saying, and suddenly this woman says, uh, you know, you are so much easier to follow than Stephan Dieter -- you should teach this class. So I wait for everyone to laugh -- and -- no one laughed.
Patty
Well, that -- that's wonderful.
Graham
Why do you sound like that?
Patty
Like what? No, no, I -- it's wonderful, it is, I-I'm just surprised. I -- Can't I be surprised? I mean -- aren't you surprised?
Graham
Yes, very. Oh, I'm gonna do it, though. I just -- uh - I wouldn't mind it if one of us wasn't quite so surprised.
Angela
The truly terrifying thing, is that even after everything had happened, Jordan Catalano left a note in my locker to meet him in the boiler room. The nauseating part is that I went. [Jordan enters, and begins to kiss her. To Jordan] Don't say hello, or anything.
Jordan
Hello --
Angela
I can't believe I came here. Why did you ask me to come here? [Jordan stares at her] Why are you like this?
Jordan
Like what?
Angela
Like how you are?
Jordan
So leave. [Angela gathers her things, starts to walk away, then stops]
Angela
Admit it first.
Jordan
Admit what?
Angela
That all of this happened. That you have emotions. That you can't like -- treat me one way in from of your friends and the next minute leave me some note. [He still does not answer] And by the way, I spell my name with one L.
Katimsky
My mistress's eyes are nothing like the sun/Coral is far more red than her lips' red/If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun/If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head/I have seen roses damasked, red and white/ But no such roses see I in her cheeks/And in some perfumes there is more delight/Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks/I love to hear her speak, yet well I know/That music hath a far more pleasing sound/I grant I never saw a goddess go/My mistress when she walks treads on the ground/And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare/As any she belied with false compare. What kind of girl is Shakespeare describing here? Is she, is she the most beautiful girl?
Brian
No.
Katimsky
Is she a goddess? Physically perfect? The kind of girl who -- uh -- stops traffic? When she walks down the street?
Brian
No.
Katimsky
So he's -- not in love with her?
Jordan
Yeah. He is.
Katimsky
Well, why is that? Why is he in love with her?
Brian
She's not just a fantasy. She's got like -- flaws. She's real.
Katimsky
Thank you.
Angela
Please, God, I know I've cut English, and done a million other terrible things, including not even completely believing in you, but please, please help me to pass this midterm. Oh, God, who am I kidding? It's too late. It's over. [to Abyssinia] You have Miss Lerner, right? For geometry?
Aby
So?
Angela
Nothing. I just didn't study at all.
Aby
Me neither.
Angela
Yeah, but I really need it. I might just skip the midterm. I mean, I'm gonna flunk it anyway.
Aby
Yeah, well, just may skip it myself. Sick of being the little schoolgirl. It's just not worth it.
Angela
Why did I let this happen? I've totally blown it. Why does he have this, like, power over me?
Aby
I haven't cut a midterm in a real long time.
Aby
[bell rings] And if the two parallel lines are cut by a transversal, then what?
Angela
The angles are congruent.
Aby
That's it! That was the bell. We'd better get out of here. I mean, we should take the test. It'd be dumb to skip it.
Sharon
Did you hear? The copy machine ate our geometry midterm! It's been postponed until tomorrow! [Abyssinia, Angela scream and hug] Okay, so Lerner's having another review session this afternoon.
Angela
Oh, well, I'll definitely be there.
Aby
Not me. I don't need it.
Katimsky
[checking the sign-up sheet] Ah! Oh!
Rickie
Rayanne, get over here --
Katimsky
Enrique --
Rayanne
Later.
Rickie
Rayanne, wait!
Katimsky
Gee whiz, I was just thinking about you.
Rickie
Why are you doing this?
Katimsky
Pardon?
Rickie
This is not something I am gonna do. I'm not the sort of person who joins things, okay?
Katimsky
I'm really sorry, but no, that's not okay.
Rickie
What?
Katimsky
Well, I mean, come on, I'm a teacher. How do you expect me to react to a ridiculous statement like that -- you don't join things? Who are you, Groucho Marx -- you'd never belong to any club that would have you as a member?
Rickie
What?
Katimsky
Look, what is holding you back here? That I'm not cool enough? Don't let the fact that your English teacher is a dork stop you from fulfilling your potential. Just pretend -- that I'm a track coach. I happen to notice that you can run fast. I need you on my team! It's as simple as that, Enrique.
Rickie
Stop calling me that! Why are you calling me that?
Katimsky
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting. It's just, it's just -- gee whiz, it's such a great name. When I was in high school, I hated my name. I hated it.
Rickie
I don't -- hate my name, I-I just --
Katimsky
Oh, oh good. I'm really glad. No-nobody should -- hate who they are. [Katimsky leaves, Rickie signs "Enrique Vasquez" on the signup sheet. Rickie, Rayanne, and Angela are at the lockers. Jordan approaches]
Jordan
[to Angela] Can we -- like go somewhere?
Angela
Sure. [as they walk away, Jordan takes her hand]
Sharon
Angela, wait! Don't forget -- the geometry review.
Rayanne
Forget it. She already did.